When crystal isn't clear anymore

The back rows. Left. Near the emergency exit. For two years this is where they could be found on Sunday morning. The exit lured but for a long time the urge to stay was stronger; you don’t just walk away from your past, your friends, your social circle, and your spiritual home. That takes more than being frustrated over superficial, circular, dogma perpetuating 30 to 40-minute monologue reflections of the orator. You can stand that for a while because there’s always the after church refreshments; an opportunity to meet and deepen the bond with friends.

No, it was more like the outcome of a long process of chewing on questions that, considering their already long spiritual distance traveled, were quickly labeled inappropriate, or even heretic by those that know. The odd times that they did dare to ask the questions led quite a few to doubt the sincerity of their walk with God; we need to pray for them…

The leaders of their faith community responded empathetically. Some felt that they needed to do something with it whereas others quickly reverted back to the old, trusted but paper-thin rhetoric: keep on trusting, take it to the Lord in prayer, you know God loves you and has His best in mind for you….

The inability, or was it unwillingness, of the leaders to really do something with it made them decide, after ample deliberation, to definitely walk through the door under the green sign and leave the church and continue their faith journey without the connection to their local church.

They felt liberated at first but also sort of naked when taking those first steps without anchor points or confession of faith that made them part of a larger family.

I haven’t done any research but know from my conversations with people that in Evangelical circles the group in the back rows near the emergency exit is large, growing, and cannot be ignored. One gets tired of the format (liturgy), the other has had it with the experience and ego-centered rhymes that sell thirteen a dozen. Again others feel that their newfound hobby with focus on a “part truth” doesn’t get enough air time, or tired of the apparent dogmatic certainties that keep the confession nicely contained and the faith journey measurable. Or one has come to the end of its rope with the yoke of promised deepening of the faith, provided that….

This is what it seems on the surface. Beneath it is a deeper layer of sincere yearning for a deeper think-through of existential questions, philosophical and theological foundations.

This think-through requires a willingness to let go of the established Reformed-, Evangelical-, Pentecostal-, Full gospel-, and other conceivable frameworks within the protestant family.

Contemporary faith communities don’t seem to have good ideas or practices to handle this. Perhaps there is the fear that letting go of frameworks could implicitly mean a complete abandoning of it. Or maybe because those at the back near the exit is a relatively small and insignificant group of troublemakers and leaders don’t want to alienate those that occupy the seats in the first rows and prefer their ego striking affirmation: “great sermon brother. It was deeeep!”

Call me an optimist but I do believe that it’s possible for existing faith communities to facilitate and accommodate this necessary think through. It needs leaders who don’t immediately bend out of shape when one or more sheep start nibbling at an established dogma and leaders that recognize and identify with the process that those left at the back are going through and wholeheartedly want and can participate in it.

It’s too simple to draw the conclusion that those who leave turn away from God. Often they don’t have beef with God but with the common denominator of the largest group that decided for them who God is and how it all works.

If even possible, God is not easy to grasp, except for those that believe that it’s all as clear as crystal. The conversation about God, Christ, the Bible, our existence, life, and what not more has to be perpetual, and continuously needs fresh oxygen blown into it. There should never be a final word spoken about it by man. And that doesn't sit well with those that keep on gazing at their delusional crystal.

The phenomenon I describe here has been well captured by Kathy Escobar in her book “Faith Shift” (isbn 9781601425430).

"Faith Shift is a must-read for every doubter, misfit, or dreamer who has ever felt alone in the church."