Three people said three things to me last Sunday and they made me think a little bit about my non-verbal communication skills, or lack thereof. I walked into the room where we as a group of local followers of Christ meet on Sundays (some call it "worship-centre", other "the sanctuary", again others find other fancy names to refer to the place that I am referring to. One church in Bloomington, Ill., will not allow wedding feasts to be held in "the sanctuary". Just imagine that the floor will get dirty because somebody laughs so loud that she (probably) spills some punch, or apple-cider on the worship-centre-carpet...).
Anyway, a dear brother sees me, walks up to me and says: "you look unhappy today, what is wrong". I tell him nothing is wrong and think to myself, "yes, what's wrong with me"? After the service a young woman comes running to me (she always speeds her way through crowds and life in general) and says: "You look tired, what's wrong with you". I tell her nothing is wrong and the same time think to myself, "Yes, what is wrong with me". With doubt welling up from deep within I look at my wife for support and comfort. She just shrugs; not much help from the support side of my life this morning! Then, another dear sister, decides to casually mention that when looking at me during the service (which is a bad thing, she should have been looking at and/or to Jesus instead) that she noticed this "big, ugly, peevish aura" around me. With other words, I look terribly grumpy and I realise that all three of time were right. I knew it, I felt it, I showed it (my wife tells me that I am completely incapable to hide my true emotions and that my body language speaks volumes).
I had no excuse. I got caught. I felt and was grumpy and people noticed
Why?
I don't know. And that's the honest truth. I had enough sleep. My wife still loved me. We walked to church (which is a 70 minute hike) so I didn't really contribute to the pollution in general (although I must admit that I did breath a little and, thus, did pollute a little, but I think there's not much you can do about that type of pollution which makes me think that in general one could say: "Being Pollutes" (take that as a thought for the day)).
Some people call it a bad hair day. I looked but found nothing wrong with my hair except the graying process.
So I said to myself, "Jan, you are grumpy, admit it. You have no idea why and that's okay. God loves you anyhow and invites you to be grumpy in His presence. Maybe it goes away, maybe not."
We don't always have to analyse why we feel the way we feel. It is important to know that the presence of God is consistent. My awareness of it changes with moods, circumstances etc.. but I cannot undo His presence.
And that's so comforting and exciting that there's the danger that my grumpiness disappears just thinking about this reality....
"May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our fathers; may he never leave us nor forsake us". (1 Kings 8:57)
Anyway, a dear brother sees me, walks up to me and says: "you look unhappy today, what is wrong". I tell him nothing is wrong and think to myself, "yes, what's wrong with me"? After the service a young woman comes running to me (she always speeds her way through crowds and life in general) and says: "You look tired, what's wrong with you". I tell her nothing is wrong and the same time think to myself, "Yes, what is wrong with me". With doubt welling up from deep within I look at my wife for support and comfort. She just shrugs; not much help from the support side of my life this morning! Then, another dear sister, decides to casually mention that when looking at me during the service (which is a bad thing, she should have been looking at and/or to Jesus instead) that she noticed this "big, ugly, peevish aura" around me. With other words, I look terribly grumpy and I realise that all three of time were right. I knew it, I felt it, I showed it (my wife tells me that I am completely incapable to hide my true emotions and that my body language speaks volumes).
I had no excuse. I got caught. I felt and was grumpy and people noticed
Why?
I don't know. And that's the honest truth. I had enough sleep. My wife still loved me. We walked to church (which is a 70 minute hike) so I didn't really contribute to the pollution in general (although I must admit that I did breath a little and, thus, did pollute a little, but I think there's not much you can do about that type of pollution which makes me think that in general one could say: "Being Pollutes" (take that as a thought for the day)).
Some people call it a bad hair day. I looked but found nothing wrong with my hair except the graying process.
So I said to myself, "Jan, you are grumpy, admit it. You have no idea why and that's okay. God loves you anyhow and invites you to be grumpy in His presence. Maybe it goes away, maybe not."
We don't always have to analyse why we feel the way we feel. It is important to know that the presence of God is consistent. My awareness of it changes with moods, circumstances etc.. but I cannot undo His presence.
And that's so comforting and exciting that there's the danger that my grumpiness disappears just thinking about this reality....
"May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our fathers; may he never leave us nor forsake us". (1 Kings 8:57)
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