Merciful

After following Jesus for 28 years I should know better.
Yet, I struggle with the whole concept and practise of mercy. It's relatively easy to show mercy and love to those that I don't have a relationship with. To fill the hand of a beggar, to pray with a stranger in need; no problem. I'm not expecting anything in return and it feels good, rewarding and fullfilling.
To be mercifull and loving towards those that I feel could, and should give something in return is a different story. The mud that some of Gods people (quite often unknowingly because "they are so right") are quick to throw at people (including me) makes it a real challenge to extend mercy to them.
Often I feel more like spraying paint in their noses, ears and eyes, or even worse, a more definite and therefore permanent disabling from certain (or all) faculties.

Yet, I so much desire to be a gracious and mercifull person. Because I want people to be mercifull to me and because I know it reflects Gods character. And wherever Gods character is reflected and demonstrated, people will be build up. They change.
God, help me to get the hang of it...