Six days.

I read Klaus Westermann's "Creation" the other day. I expected it to be one of those modern approaches to creation whereby I am supposed to believe that the days are actual 24 hour days and that all of creation took place in exactly 6 days. I also expected to read that if I don't believe that, it will affect the way I view salvation.
But Westermann takes you by surprise and hardly even touches that part of the discussion. His proposition is that we need to read it as it is: a narrative of our genesis. It is very freeing to do so because is allows you to focus on the issues that really matter: relationships, community, progress and the faithfulness of God.
Anyway, I shared some of my findings with some fellow believers and casually mentioned that, when one looks at the style in writing, it could well be that Genesis 1-11 has a different author than the other chapters.

This wasn't my main point but I might as well have cursed in the church in broad daylight and all the believers present, because suddenly I found all my brothers all over me as if I uttered the most blasphemous statement of the week.
Too bad that we don't allow ourselves to look at what we think we know from a different angle. There is so much we don't know. Why not admit it and leave things be. Things we don't know, that don't really matter, that don't affect our salvation.
Anyway, it took away some of the fun I find in exploring the many possible exegetical and hermeneutical avenues.
By the way, have you ever considered the numerous question that will pop up from the first chapters of Genesis if the world indeed was created in exactly six days?
You know, I don't really care. It's not that important.
But I do bet that there's people out there that are ready to start a war over it. In a sense that's what it comes to
The path of disobedience that man choose now enables us to undo in a few seconds what God took six days (or maybe longer) to make.
Now this is something that should grab our attention and get us into gear.

The Pures will see God

Yes, I know it's been too long. But, please give me a break. Writing a daily blog in Dutch is already quite a commitment. Maybe I can find somebody who is crazy enough, or loves me enough to translate my daily musings from Dutch into English. I also know that "pures" is not a proper word. Sorry for that.

I read a lot. And fast.
The Bible is the only book I read very, very slow. I'm still stuck in the beatitudes. Pondering, contemplating, wondering.

Pure in heart. What is it. Can it be achieved?
I have been taught that Pure in Heart is my new status in Christ. "Don't worry, in Christ you are pure in heart".
I have also been taught that trying to be Pure in Heart is neither a Godly nor a helpfull exercise. Why not? Because it's me trying. Out of my own strenght. And, I am supposed to believe that I can do nothing. I am a failure, a crook, a hypocrite, a "not-able-to-do-gooder".
Is it impossible to attain a measure of purity? Many followers of Christ ended up believing that and they attained an unhealthy level of passivity. Passivity is always unhealthy.

What about Christ? What about redemption? What about the blood? What about the new heart?

Listen. I want to see God.
So, I'd better be Pure in Heart.

I change.
Slowly.
Very slowly!

But I change! I am learning to be pure.
Of course I do understand that I will never be able to live up to the ultimate standard of purity.
But that is why Christ came.
He is covering for me. I am with Him. He will tell the Father that it's okay since we're in this together.
I like that.

And because I am with Him, I want to be like Him.

So, I want to be Holy and Pure and I will actively engage in the process that will help me get there. Why? Because he is Holy and Pure and I passionately desire to reflect Him in and through my life.

Merciful

After following Jesus for 28 years I should know better.
Yet, I struggle with the whole concept and practise of mercy. It's relatively easy to show mercy and love to those that I don't have a relationship with. To fill the hand of a beggar, to pray with a stranger in need; no problem. I'm not expecting anything in return and it feels good, rewarding and fullfilling.
To be mercifull and loving towards those that I feel could, and should give something in return is a different story. The mud that some of Gods people (quite often unknowingly because "they are so right") are quick to throw at people (including me) makes it a real challenge to extend mercy to them.
Often I feel more like spraying paint in their noses, ears and eyes, or even worse, a more definite and therefore permanent disabling from certain (or all) faculties.

Yet, I so much desire to be a gracious and mercifull person. Because I want people to be mercifull to me and because I know it reflects Gods character. And wherever Gods character is reflected and demonstrated, people will be build up. They change.
God, help me to get the hang of it...

Hunger for righteousness

This particular beatitude appeals to me the most. Injustice sucks the life out of this planet and out of the life of its people. I don't see much "fairness" around me and I sympathize with all those that want to scream on top of their voices "IT'S NOT FAIR".
Most injustice has to do with greed. Greed for money, power, sex; the insatiable hunger to feed into ME. It's about MY needs. Get out of MY way.

God knows. Jesus knows. He sympathizes with those who are the victims of injustice.
God waits. Jesus waits. His day will come. Justice will come.

I look forward to that day.
I'm not thinking about the little injustice that I have experienced over the past 46 years. No, that's nothing compared to what millions are going through. Aids victims, the homeless, the 30.000 children that die each day because of malnutrition of infectious deseases, the emotinal and physical abused women and children.
Their cries are piling up and God hears.

Even though I believe in the message of love I am thankfull that God is just and justice will come. That those that took and take lives, land, dreams, innocence, ideals, mothers, children with force, will meet the forcefull Hand of justice.

I desperately hunger for righteousness. I cry with those victims for justice and I believe in the promose of Jesus: They will be filled!

The inner circle, or what

Yesterday I shared with our OM staff some of my thoughts and findings related to the beatitudes: "Imagine being in that crowd and hearing Jesus speak those revollutionairy words. What picture would have come to your mind if you hear Jesus say that the poor in spirit are blessed and will inherit the kingdom of heaven"?
We had a few sharing their thoughts and they ranged from the mentally challenged people to those that realise that they need Jesus as their Savior. I really thought we had some good interaction and many made valid contributions. Towards the end of the talk one of my friends said, "I don't want to spoil a good party but I don't think that Jesus spoke to the crowdbut only to his twelve disciples".
I had been thinking about that. Verse 1 may lead us to conclude that 1) yes, their was a crowd and 2) yes, the disciples came to him but to draw the conclusion that Jesus was laying out the constitution of the Kingdom for his disciples only, is stretching it. Quit a bit.

Your in the crowd, amazed at His teaching (7:28) only to find out that these words were not meant for you. You'd like to ask Jesus, "but sir, if these words were for your twelve close friends, what are they to me"? Would Jesus have apologized? "I'm sorry, I should have been more specific about identifying my target audience. Forget what I just said. Again, sorry for wasting your time".

Jesus' words apply to everyone. The crowds didn't just happen to stand by and accidentaly overhear Jesus' words. His words were meant for all of them.
Whenever Jesus speaks we are confronted with who we truly are. His words of truth shed light into the dark corners of our souls and when He speaks, we know; we just know that He is truth and we're not.
And we have a choice. His words of truth have the power to set us free, But I need to welcome that truth, with its power.

I would have been so discouraged if Jesus would have told me that His words were not aimed at me and my neighbour. Do you believe with me that Jesus looks us in the eye and says; "These are my words. This is the truth. For you. Take them and put them to practise".

The meeker, the more

Blessed are the meek. They will inherit the land.
What on earth is Jesus talking about?
See the salespitch? Wanted: Meek people to get free land.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who's the meekest of them all?

Global Competitions will start. TV-shows will pitch in; there's money in the meek! Let the people decide. Let's have them vote.
Fights will start. people disagreeing with each other, with the jury, with the people: who do they think tey are to decide for me that I am less meek that that other selfproclaimed "meek" ( we all know he's a jerk, he's just slick and knows how to play the audience). I should have won. I know that in my heart I am meeker... the meekest.

A zoo.

Jesus.

The meek will inherit. A true "meek" has no ambition to inherit whatever land. He'd rather give it away. His ambition is not in the land. His ambition is to serve the true and only God.
A genuine "meek" seeks to please God.
What Jesus is saying is that 'the land' is for those whose hearts are with the King of that land.
Jesus broadens the horizon of His disciples minds: 'You thought the land was for those that happened to belong to God's chosen people? Those that play according to the rules of the Pharisees and the scribes? It's for those whose hearts have been changed and softend by God's spirit.'

Meekness; I want it. Not because of the land.
Meekness; I want it because I realise that my heart is not meek. It's hard and judgmental and full of prejudice. I need change. I need God to touch and change nmy heart. Make me meek because there's no natural meekness in me. What is in me is self preservation and narcissisme. Forgive me!

Yet, the meek are promised the land.
Why land?
Because God intended the land to be occupied by 'meek' people. People that are kind and tender to the environment and to each other. People that hate exlpoitation but rather are filled with genuine care for Gods creation and His people.
The meek and Gods land go hand in hand. That's His original intended package.
You know what?
I long for that land.

Mourning

If Jesus says that those who mourn will be comforted, does it also work the other way around? Like if I'm looking for comfort I should try to mourn harder?
Comfort is good, you see. I love receiving comfort when I mourn. I don't reject it, I welcome it.

Like when my mother died, and when my sister died, my wife comforted me. How did she do that? By speaking soothing words or telling be that everything would be "allright"? Praise the Lord that she didn't.
She just held me. No words. Just being there for me and let me be. I'll talk when I want to talk. I'll cry when I want to cry but for now, just hold me.
It's as if the burden get a little lighter.

When His disciples heard his words, what picture came to their minds? Was it a picture of them feeling sorry for themselves? Did they, from this moment on, feel their spirits lifted up whenever they had a bad hairday because Jesus felt sorry for them? The Good Shepherd came to make us happy and feel happy, didn't he? Well?
I believe they saw the picture painted to us in Is. 61, where it talks about people who mourn because of Gods absence in society and in the lives of His beloved.
It's about people in pain because of the destructive power of sin in our lives and in the heart of society.

The Good news of the return of the Kingdom is a comforting message and reality. It is here! It is now!
Yes, amidst compromised lives and a compromised creation there is a rebuilding talking place. Things will get better but we don't have to passively wait for it to happen. They already are getting better.

If I look back at 25 years of marriage I see the redemptive power of the Kingdom through Jesus at work. From a hopeless, selfcentered case God has changed me, and continues to change me. I am a better husband and a better father than 10, 15, 20, 25 years ago.
Yet, I'm not there yet. The changes are slow and I have a long way to go. I am thankfull, so thankfull for this reality in my life.
Yet, I cry, I mourn.
For more...

Poor in spirit

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Today I decided to read and study Jesus' beatitudes again. Since I grew up in an evangelicla climate I am programmed to read the word in a way that it is always about me. How does this apply to me? Do I want to be blessed? Yes! Then, be poor in spirit. As if being poor in spirit is a status one can achieve, or choose to be in.
I googled "beatitudes" and read a lot of stuff on a lot of sites and I got a little sick to the stomach. Why?
Here's one: "It means that the poor are those who realize that they can never achieve salvation on their own and instead put their complete faith and trust in Jesus Christ".
See what I mean?
Picture the disciples. Jesus speaks those powerful words. Do you really think that all His disciples immedeately decided that Jesus must have meant to say that they couldn't achieve salvation on their own but instead they had to put complete faith and trust in JC?
Please.....
Give me a break!

Could it be that Jesus is very simply talking about all those that hadn't had an education and are therefore 'poor of spirit'; destitute of wealth of learning and intellectual culture which the schools afford (men of this class most readliy give themselves up to Christ's teaching and proved themselves fitted to lay hold of the heavenly treasures (interlinear scripture analyzer).

Jesus was countering a culture where 'the experts' ran religion; where most 'ordinairy' people were considered poor in intellect and education.
Isn't Jesus saying that the scribes and farasees with all their intellect and richness in spirit were and are their own biggest obstacle for obtaining Gods blessing.

If Jesus, and or His disciples, would see our interpretation of a lot of His sayings they would probably just stare at us without saying anything.
Their silence speaking volumes!

His words were and are for the common people and we need to read simplicity and simple meaning in His words.

Jesus' first beatitude was a great encouragement for His disciples. It lifted them up and encouraged them. They probably didn't even read it as an accusation towards the scholars. It helped them understand that the Kingdom is accesible for all those ordinairy people. And that was the Good News of the Kingdom.

Chatter

Paul instructs Timothy to turn away from godless chatter. I'd like to do the same. But the the questions wells up, what is it? And does godly chatter exist? Or, is chatter by definition always ungodly. I believe Paul only talks about chatter twice; in 1 Tim. 6 and 2 Tim. 2. In both cases it come as a package together with "unholy"; unholy godless chatter. Only in 2 Tim. we get a little bit of context; guys who are spreading the news that the resurrection has already taken place. In 1 Tim. 6 most of the chapter is about money.

Throughout its history, and up till today, an unbelievable amount of ball and baloney is being chattered about. Maybe those are the words we would use: ball and baloney.
A couple of things:

While the church keeps on chattering about politics, money, baptism, speaking in tongues, buildings, organisation; millions are going to hell.


While the church is at it and a working group has to make some tough decisions regarding carpets and sinks and/or the colour of the urinals, thousands of children die because of malnutrition and/or contaminated water.

While we are writing, publishing and reading thousands of books and articles (all good Christian stuff) with a lot of chatter stuff in it, tens of thousands don't even have access to a copy of the word of God.

While we keep on chattering on the position and the role of women in the church, millions of women don't even have the most basic role or position.

While we refine, tweak and fine-tune our theology of worship and spend millions on sound equipment, instruments and sound engineering we don't even realise that all these things are the contemporary equivalent of chatter and most of it is utterly unholy.

I could go on and on but I won't because I know I will get depressed if I keep chattering on.

But the sad reality is that it is true. We chatter away at interpreting the meaning of chatter while precious time leaks away into oblivion.

Yet, isn't it true also that we need some chatter. Chatter that will point us back into the right direction. Chatter that will shake us up a bit.
I believe it's possible. I believe holy chatter is possible.

The secret revealed

I am reading Brian McLaren's "The secret Message of Jesus". It's a must read! I heard Brian speak on this topic about two months ago in South Africa. I expected a cheap excuse for a booksales party but I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't. In fact, there were none of his books. So, the message was and is more important to Brian than selling as many books as possible (maybe they just got stuck at customs or other plausible reason(s), but I like to believe that my observation is the correct one).

Even though the majority of evangelicals grew up with the idea that the Kingdom of God is here and now, in the past decades not much emphasis has been given to the actual ramifications of this truth.

With the emergent church there is a growing, and much needed, awareness of the reality of the "here and now" of the Kingdom.
I think many believers have been waiting for voices (like McLaren's) that put words to what they 'secretely' new was, and is true.
I have been a 'secret' believer of the Kingdom for many years but never new what to do with it. My believes needed sharpening, focussing and others those believes resonate with.
Now I wish that I would have been more outspoken about it.

The Gospel of the Kingdom and the wake up call that comes through books like these will change the church. I believe that the church will become the statement God intended it to be right from the very beginning.
If we truly believe that the Kingdom of God is not just a desired future but Gods desire for the church today, it will change the way we "do" church. It will have massive implications! We will never be the same again.
What if we truly believe that we can make the world a better place? What if we truly believe that social justice can improve? What if we stop believing that the only thing the church does is "postponing the inevitable" (being this world going down the drain).

I want to be a voice that will help build the much critical mass that true change needs.

One more word about the secret. When talking to my host about the seminar I was to attend, we were guessing what the secret was going to be about and it was pretty clear to both of us that it could only be about the Kingdom. I would have been pretty shaken up if Jesus would have had an even more obscure agenda that only Brian new about! Well, praise God, there is and was none other than this: the Kingdom of God is at hand.

Enter the Kingdom...

The Good News that, first John the Baptist, and later Jesus proclaimed, was the announcement that the Kingdom of God had arrived.
A funny exercise to do: ask a bunch of evangelicals what they think the Good News was and is and only rarely someone will give you the correct answer.
Evangelicals are rather safe than sorry and that’s probably why they keep on hanging in the doorway and believe that this doorway is the Good News.
Jesus never meant for His followers to sort of get stuck in this doorway. He made it pretty clear that He is the only way through whom we gain access to this overwhelming Kingdom of God.
I don’t hear too much about it. Yet Jesus talked about it all the time. This was the revolution that the system of this world doesn’t cut it and that Jesus came to reconcile all things.
The Jesus life is the life in the Kingdom. It is revolutionary.

Observing Christianity I see that many live part time in the system of this world and that they have some part time involvement in the KoG business.

I believe Jesus wants me to live in His kingdom 24/7.

And that changes everything. I live, breath, eat, spend time with my wife, kids, friends, do my work, relax, watch 24 and Prison Break, have sex with my wife, sleep and even go to church; and all this takes place in the presence of my heavenly Father who takes joy in me, his son.

Jesus invites His disciples to explore the Kingdom. He releases us into the vastness of His Kingdom. The deeper I penetrate it, the lesser life continues to be about me. The deeper I enter, the more I am absorbed by His presence… it’s all about, it’s all about ….. GOD

Some will abandon the faith..

This morning I read 1 Tim. 4:1 (I usually study my bible one verse at the time) where we read Paul's warning that in later times some will abandon the faith.
I think I have always been more Arminian than Calvinist although I admit that it is not an easy subject and triggers a tremendous lot of controversy. I concise introductionairy explanation you will find here.


I grew in a church where it is not easy to get lost. Once in, praying the sinners prayer, you're in and can't get out because Jesus said: My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand (John 10:27-28).
You see, once we're in Jesus is going to make sure that no one snatches me out of His hand and I can't perish anymore, no matter how much I screw up! I'm in, you know!

But what about that one thing that is so dear to God that He allowed for us to rebel against Him and to be free to make up our own minds: free will.
What if a sheep wants to leave the pen? Will Jesus, like a wrestler, throw Himself on this person to keep Him protect him from the evil, fleshly voices within? Will Jesus say: "You can't get out, you're saved and can't get lost, pal! I lured you in and I'm very sorry (actually I'm not) to say that there is no way you can't get out".

Isn't this verse in John's gospel about His promise to keep us safe and that, as long as we live our lives on earth and stay close to Him, listen to His voice, no one, not any single force can snatch us out of His hand!
I believe the perishing bit that Jesus talks about is about this life on earth. He is not telling us that we don't have an option anymore. I believe we do have. We are safe under His protection. We can still walk out of Him and He will have to let us go. He will come and look for us but He will have to let us go. He is not forcing anyone to live with Him.

And, people do walk out of Him. Paul knew it was happening and it would continue to happen. Why? Because of deceiving spirits, things taught by demons and becoming legalistic! He is niot talking about people that walk out of Jesus to become druggies instead, or crooks. He is talking about people becoming religious again and end up putting yokes on the shoulders of Gods people.

Yes, we can walk out of Gods Kingdom, submit to other ruling systems where power, position, being right, and ruling others try to satisfy the emptiness in their souls.

Why would people do that? Drawing from Jesus' analogy in John 10 I want to suggest that sheep are stupid animals. They generally follow their leader and are rather submissive, yet do stupid things. Who wants to be called stupid and simple?
There you go.
I have been sticking to Jesus for the past 28 years and I like being a sheep. He cares and knows what I need. I don't want to become religious, I just want to follow my shepherd. That's safe. That's simple. For some a little bit to simple...
With what result? Abandonment.

The blood (II)

Life and blood go hand in hand; are inseparable. All that lives has some form of a bloodstream, taking all that is necessary to maintain and sustain life to each and every part of the body.
I can live with one kidney, without toes, eyes, arms, even whole legs. But cut the bloodstream and I’m as dead as can be.

What else could God have chosen but the blood?

I think I am beginning to see the light. Apply the principle to the Body of Christ, His church, and immediately one understands the centrality of Christ in Gods plan.
Religion can’t give what Christ alone can give: LIFE.

Today I attended a seminar with Brian Mclaren. I believe Brian is Gods gift to the Global Church, a modern prophet calling Gods children to “repent” which, in his words, means “rethink everything”.
I like that idea since it implies that the church and its individual members need to be in perpetual repentance mode. Where and when we stop repenting we become and institute and are on the verge of becoming fossils.

The church easily becomes a fossil, trapped, unable to move with the tides of time

Yes, the church needs a boost I its bloodstream. Who is Jesus really? What were and are His intentions? How does the Kingdom of God operate and grow.

The good news was and is the Kingdom of God. Years ago I started on this quest to understand the Kingdom of God better (to be honest, I had no idea what it was). In church I sort of learned that the church is a group of people in a big warehouse, whining about how sinful they are and eagerly awaiting the return of Christ so finally things would get better).
I tell you that this idea is a lie of the devil. The Kingdom of God is the most fascinating, invigorating, rejuvenating reality that exists.
We need the life of Christ to stream through our veins to get it. Once we get it…. Hold on tight, you’re in for a roller coaster ride.

More about the Kingdom in the next Blog

The blood...

One thing that has always fascinated me is Gods pre-occupation with blood. I've always had difficulty putting it in a perspective that makes some sense. There's hundreds of books written on the subject and some of those make people like me feel pretty dumb because I have a question or two about it. I'm not talking about the theological reasoning behind it. That makes perfect sense. It's the pre-supposition that comes with it, with other words, the blood was there before theology, before Jesus, before Israel, before Abraham...
My question is this. If God is God why does He need to see blood in order for us not to come under His judgement?

I know it is linked to the Exodus. The night before the Exodus the Jews are having some family quality time while disaster happens outside their doors; God is killing all the firstborn sons in Egypt households that don't have the blood of an innocent lamb smeared on the doorposts.
Those that obediently killed the lamb, and applied the blood to the doorpost, are saved from Gods judgement.

Why not a red hanky? Or a yellow ribbon? It's the faith that matters, doesn't it? Or am I missing the obvious here?

Why did I get to this blog?

I am re-reading Watchman Nee's 'Normal Christian Life' and this thought struck me: The blood was, and is enough for God. We, humans, worry about the question whether the blood is enough for us. But, Nee, rightfully says, the blood was and is for God to see. I only need tot trust in its power.

So, you see, I understand how it works. But, the question remains, why blood?
Because it is a disgusting thing to take innocent lives and have someone or something else bear my shit? Maybe. Could be.

Some will say that it has to do with Cain and Abel but I don't buy that. Kain supposedly was the loser because he didn't understand that God wanted blood, and not brocolly. Please, give me a break...

So what is it. What do you think? I'm asking because I really don't know.

Glass Castle

I stayed in bed till 08.30 this morning. I had to finish reading this amazing story. I am a fast reader and normally skip a lot of stuff, paragraphs authors write just to make the book bigger, non-relevant details, or non-sense-D-tours. Not this time. I read each and every word.
Why does this book speak to me?
Maybe because I'm 46 and getting more sentimental about life and quite often find myself contemplating my early childhood, lost years, emotional damage.
Recently I drove through the little town where I was born and raised. It has always been a quite depressing experience and this time I pulled over the car and cried, realising that I could not recall any positive memories from the first twelve years of my life. The ones that could be labelled "moderately positive" are those that come with a huge level of sadness. Sadness caused by an alcoholic father and the realisation that there was nothing I could do to stop him drinking (although I never really tried) and the sense of guilt; "maybe it's because of me that he drinks".

Anyway back to the book. The publisher writes:

The Glass Castle is a remarkable memoir of resilience and redemption, and a revelatory look into a family at once deeply dysfunctional and uniquely vibrant. When sober, Jeannette's brilliant and charismatic father captured his children's imagination, teaching them physics, geology, and how to embrace life fearlessly. But when he drank, he was dishonest and destructive. Her mother was a free spirit who abhorred the idea of domesticity and didn't want the responsibility of raising a family.

The Walls children learned to take care of themselves. They fed, clothed, and protected one another, and eventually found their way to New York. Their parents followed them, choosing to be homeless even as their children prospered.
The Glass Castle is truly astonishing — a memoir permeated by the intense love of a peculiar, but loyal, family. Jeannette Walls has a story to tell, and tells it brilliantly, without an ounce of self-pity.

An that's what it is, an astonishing story.

My father has long passed away. He died of illnesses related to his drinking. Only later, when we started talking to each other as equal adults, I realised his life was determined by an unhealthy fear of God; a total absence of grace and affirmation from his own father.

Yet, we do have a choice. Where we cannot change the circumstances we can still decide whether or not to allow those circumstances to dictate or determine our lives.

Yes, stuff has happened in my life. Injustice, unfairness, abuse...

Too many people indulge in their role as victims and feel they are entitled to do so.

Great character emerges in the lives of those who choose no longer to be a victim but victor.

There 's thousands of stories and testimonies of those who did it and came out stronger, able to come alongside those that are still victims and need help of those who conquerered thier demons.

In my life, and in my father's life the Grace of God appeared. For me it was a head-on collision and Grace won. In the life of my father it was a reluctant approach, but eventually Grace pulled him in, just a couple of months before he died.

Just read the book!

The church in D-minor

Today, Wednesday, March 28 at 10.48 hrs. Johann Sebastian Bach’s prelude of his cello suite No.2 in D minor/d Moll BWV1008 expresses sort of what I think the church is: there’s a ferocious beauty about it; a softness and aggression blended nicely together and resulting in a big D-minor statement in its last seconds.
The church is cause for great excitement and worry. It’s all in one. It’s the total package. A bunch of ragamuffins that try to stay on the narrow road together. I wonder what is the bigger challenge; the narrow road or the walking together.

If you keep on listening you will get the Allemande and than the Courante. The latter makes for a good, lively dialogue between however many. I see people arguing there case, trusting that with reason and emotion the other can be won.
There’s sadness and reflection in the Sarabande. No winners. The menuet leads to the resolve in the last part “Gigue” where there’s dancing and singing.

Sometimes music is by far the best conveyer of feelings and moods. I don’t think Bach saw the same picture that I see listening to this piece of music. But that’s the beauty of music.

It’s little things that can get people into a defensive mode. It’s the small things that get us on our feet. These arouse deep needs, defences, trauma’s and wounds, and we respond to them, which causes others to response in return.
Who wins? The one that obeys Christ and follows His example in the all overpowering love and grace awakening!
I see this as one of the most desperate needs in the church today. We love. Yes, we do. We draw the line somewhere. Everybody stops loving others somewhere and starts loving himself more. We all have a breaking point.
Unless God perpetually pours out grace and love we will not be able to stay and walk together; we will wander off and need to be found again. The messed-up-ness of the church is overwhelming. Yet God keeps on loving her, using her, changing her.
I am committed to the church because God is.
And He will turn her into a D major. Listen to the Gigue in suite No. 6 in D-major. There’s joy and laughter!
I can’t wait.

Questions...

I grew up having many questions. Then, I found Jesus, the Answer. Any question? The answer is Jesus. At least, that's what I thought Christians believed and were supposed to uphold as the truth.
Asking questions, especially the more existential ones, were, and often still considered equal to doubting your faith in Christ.
Why then did Jesus ask questions all the time? Of cource He spoke profound truth but often asked questions without providing the "questionee" with an answer. He triggered some heavy soulsearching; "Who do say I am". Just this one questions forces one to "freeze" and seriously think about it. Who do I think Jesus is? If He is the truth, why do I still believe and follow lies? If He is the life, why do I often still choose death? If he is the way, why do I often prefer my way?

The world is full of lies. Lies about relationships, dignity, health, power, money, sex, family, friendship, etc....
And it seems to me that, instead of trying to find answers to the real questions, many Christians spend their time embracing the lies of this world. We welcome the media into our lives, spend hours a day lauging about the lies of the world. "It's just entertainment", we make ourselves and others believe yet don't realise how our valuesystem is infected and reshaped by lies.
How is this possible? Because Jesus is the answer. Apparently I can enjoy the pleasures of this world, embrace and live a couple of lies and "the blood of Jesus cleanses me from all sin".

And this is the cheapest version of grace that I've found; using Jesus to legitimise my giving in to carnal desires. May God forgive me and my brothers and sisters for watering down the power of transformed lives through real, die hard faith and a commitment to deeper holiness.
How to get there? Face and ask the real questions. God, through His grace will either help us to see the answer or strengthen us to live with the reality of an unanswered question. When in doubt, don't give in to the world but hang in there, pursuing holiness, out of reverence for God.

Souls turned away

Christian Brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realise; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate (Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together)

I have observed that we don't do community well. I also observed that I don't do community well. And with that observation I have come to a decision to change that. The last couple of weeks I have spend most of my time (re)connecting with people and it has been a tremendous blessing. I took time, spend money, flew and drove hundreds of miles, just to get together with people; people that have become special to me.
I stayed overnight at a friends place in Canada and we talked and talked, his dented soul eager to download into a receptive heart. Laughter, pain, grieve, loss, disappointment, questions and not too many answers.

I read this thing somewhere about how so many believers pretend. The "I'm Okay Facade" I'd like to call it. We gather in circles, facing each other with happy smiles but quite often our souls are turned away from each other.
For souls to connect we need to come down from our thrones of make believe. How bad is it that we can't live up to the standard we set ourselves to meet? How bad is it that we still face temptations and are plain old jerks many times a day?
Why not admit it? Why pretend to be stronger than we are?

This world and, almost as often, the church, elevates success over failure. To fail is to be weak. Weaklings are dismissed and are to live the remainder of their lives in the margin of existence.
And that's exactly where we find Jesus: in the margins. That's where He hangs out; looking for wandering souls that are crying out for honesty and reality. And they cry out from their pain and brokenness.

True brotherhood is the result of people bonding in their brokenness, not in their successes or victories. Brotherhood is the reality I choose to live in.
Let's cut the crap and be real.
If you struggle with temptation, tell a friend.
If you can't handle money, ask a friend to help you.
If you waste a lot of precious time doing things you shouldn't be doing; make yourself accountable to a friend.
If you struggle in your spiritual life, share your struggles with a friend.
I could go on and on and make this list as long as life.
When you are looking for such a friend, you’ll find yourself looking for a true brother or sister; one you've been bonding with and trust.

It's a matter of living it, not talking about it.